Wednesday 1 July 2015

My life in Islam; The Good, The Bad and The Obnoxious


The Good

The way Islam defines relationships, let's face it, that's what life is all about; good relationships. From an outsider's perspective (because I used to be an outsider) it looks restrictive, especially for women and it looks as though women are dominated by men. Those are misconceptions that the media like to throw around, citing  examples of bad relationships that happen in any family from any religion. Islam has bad examples too but that's not normative.

The norm is that children respect their parents so so much throughout their childhood and take responsibility for them in their elderly life, they do not put their career first and shove their elders into homes to visit for ten minutes once a week.

The intimate relationship between a man and a woman is private, not on display to the world by touching and kissing in public which often makes others feel uncomfortable anyway which is why they say "Get a room!".

What looks like domination to an outsider, is simply two people serving each other in a humble way through Islamically defined roles. Just because two people have defined roles, doesn't imply one is any more valued that the other. This is a misconception people like to draw from assumption. I am very well respected by my husband and he seeks my opinion on most things because we are in a relationship together. My money I make is my own and he will not even consider including it in general family income. I can choose to if I want to though.

It's true, men and women are seperate but it limits any misunderstandings and keeps any temptations, glances, ponderings and imaginations, from either side, to a minimum.

Because Allah (subhana wa ta ala) is first in our relationship, and all that the Prophet (s.a.w.) taught is the way we worship and please Allah (S.W.T), it prevents us resorting to selfish arguments HA!, well it prevents my husband resorting to selfish arguments, I still have some way to learn to be disciplined about this. He is just like "we'll speak again when you are able to" and goes somewhere quiet.

The Bad

Living in the west (I've always lived here; I'm an English convert (revert) to Islam) is difficult. There is music everywhere, in every shop almost = haram (forbidden). There is the clothing issue where a lot of people hardly wear any and I don't like to see that.

Drinking alchohol = haram and the effects and consequences it has on society.

Other Muslims and how they manage to live in the west. Some manage fine but for weaker Muslims or those who use the title and do little else, it is horrid to see. Outsiders view these Muslims as liberal or modern, but some are hardly really Muslims at all. Same as Christians who do not act or live in any recognisable Christian way at all. Makes me sad.

The Obnoxious

Being spat at when I wear my niqab

Being called the worst names for being a white English girl who married into Islam. From..."What a waste..." direct and pithy I suppose. To the even less imaginative chav saying  "Traitor whore". I always think...yeah I have only been with my husband while you have lost count so who is closer to that definition exactly? Anyways... I don't lose sleep over ignorant chavs.

Angry drunks seeing the hijab/niqab...what they really think is unleashed because they're wasted.

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