Dementia: Don't be scared

A lot if people are scared of people with dementia. They see people walking around behaving in a bizarre way, looking and dressing in a way that indicates some obvious madness and having, in some cases, no social inhibitions any more. It can be scary to look into your own future and wonder if you will end up like this. Well, my view on it is, if we do end up with a form of dementia, then we'd want the best staff and resources looking after us wouldn't we? So all the more reason to take hold of this topic yourself and help build a better tomorrow for us all.

People are scared because they can't relate to the person now. They don't speak a common language but when you address someone with this disease, depending on which type they have or how advanced it is, they will have a new way of communicating that we just have to learn. For some people with dementia, they communicate fine but just forget recent events and conversations and so become repetitive. For friends and relatives, that can be irritating, especially if you don't quite understand because you just told them like 3 seconds ago. 

At work there used to be a guy who was an old school market trader. So he communicated with women as darlin' sweedaar' and gal. That's the language he used if you're a woman and it was mate if you were a man. He got agitated when we didn't respond in like manner. So we'd know that's how he likes to chat, bit of banter, want a cup of tea, "c'mon darlin' I'm doing the laundry this mornin' let's have them trousers..." if you needed him to change his clothes because he's not giving them up. He could become quite irritated and aggressive so, we all had to fit into his view and experience as much as possible to keep him calm and relaxed and having fun. It must be so frightening for the person with this awful disease, when everyone and everything around you seems different and alien to you. When staff join that person in their world, even if only briefly, it is a way of helping them feel less alone and more comforted.

Another really posh lady it's shoes. She has replacement words so her word shoes covers a lot of things. If I'm like... "Hi Daphney (not her real name) how are you this morning?" And she's like "my bloody shoes.. filthy dirty shoes" then I know she either needs to use the bathroom or needs help with changing, or it could be there is something bothering her generally. If she's like "lovely shoes oh look such lovely shoes" then I know we're all good.You have to get to know the person, in many ways, over again if you knew them before.

Please don't be scared. There is a person in there and even when you say hello and greet them,  they will know it and appreciate being acknowledged. Long term memory is good in most all cases... its the short term memory that is disabled, so tap into that long term memory and you will be giving that person such comfort on what must be such a lonely place to be for them..