"The state not only has a duty to be a parent, but it has a moral responsibility to be a really good parent"
I am as disgusted at Lord Laming's statements now as I was about his report in March 2009 when I was still in the system myself.
Most often, children are in care and offending because they have been offended against.
This is an overview of my experience in care, parented by the fucking govt.
I went into care at age 5. I had multiple fractures and had been beat on hard by idk who, probably some waster who was around my mum. So not difficult for the govt, via the local authority, to be a better parent than that. You would think uh?
5-8 years I was moved three times. Not just homes but complete areas. I had an older sister in care who I didn't get to see and an area and school that I was familiar with, that I was removed from without any explanation or apology to me. So aside from my bumpy start in life, which i'm sure I would have got over being so young, my parenting by the system started with some no mark making decisions about my fucking life, to move me around like some chess pawn, to hit their targets and report back at one of their, coffee and bitch, meetings.
I'm not bitter; I'm angry because STILL no fucker is listening.
Maybe Mr Laming will actually get it if he and me spoke face to face and he felt my fury and contempt for his moral obligations.
By nine I was moved area and school again and I felt so scared where I lived that I carried a knife everywhere and took it out twice to use, thankfully not fatally or seriously injurious but enough to make me ashamed these days.
I did have a code though. I developed my own at 13 when I came out of my emotional coma and started speaking again after five years of silence. Very few people around me had any moral substance or character. No one spoke about honour or duty, dignity or other virtues. Mostly it was just randoms controlling my life for their own benefit and convenience.
Do you know Lord Laming, what it is like to not be able to relax where you live?? I am sure you do a hard days work and you get home and relax. I could never do that, never. Most of the kids in care with me could never do that either. You have a constant hard belly where you are anxious and your adrenaline is on high alert in case someone takes your stuff or gets up in your face about something so badly that it escalates real fast into a fight. Maybe you looked at their boyfriend, moved their shoe or changed the channel on the TV, sure normal for kids to ruck about this stuff...but not normal in this environment is that someone will end up bleeding. Where are the en loco parentis in this place??? Outside having a chat and a line with some blokes who regularly take a few of the girls out to 'parties' and buy them 'gifts'.
This is all better than what my mum provided for me uh???
James O Brien (@LBC @mrjamesob) goes on about reading books and how impotent it is. I only just have realised that reading (and learning in general) is something you can only do when you're relaxed, and not constantly living your life in a high state of red alert and anxiety. How the FUCK can you expect kids living like this to suddenly get into the classroom and be interested in fucking history when their head is filled with their own history they need to make sense of. How can they sit and learn about Sentence Structure, Algebra and Pygfuckingmalion when they know a heap of trouble is waiting for them back at the house or on the way home and that next week you're moving them again anyway!!!
From 10 until 16 more of the same, add some fucked-up foster carers, well-meaning but over-worked/under-resourced social workers, idiotic key workers who just wanted to be your friend rather than do anything meaningful for your life, bit of shop lifting, some random vandalism, an education system that races forward and leaves you behind if you move catchment areas too much and yeah... I will take responsibility for being offensive. Right about when you take responsibility for being an arrogant fuckwad who knows FUCK ALL!!!
The only Lord that I respect is Allah (subhana wa ta 3la)
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