Everything was great until we all decided to go back to one of the girl's houses and try on clothes and cosmetics. We were all women so I didn't have any need to wear my hijab. I was completely off my guard from shaytan. They were drinking and I wasn't until someone made me a coffee which tasted odd and in the back of my mind, if I am honest, I knew someone had put alcohol in it but I chose to pretend not to notice. I had been so stressed recently, I welcomed the slight mood alteration. However, several hours later at 3am I got back to the house where I live in a bit of a mess and in my friend's clothes.
My alarm went off at 5am for work and I didn't even hear it on my cell. My husband had decided to get up and make breakfast and noticed I wasn't around so came to look for me. I had gotten as far as the front door and fell to sleep,
Four strong coffee's, a shower and an hour late, I took a taxi into work.
Photo's of me with the other girls all over Instagram. Nothing wrong with them per se, we were just trying on clothes and seeing what they looked like, but for me, I wasn't wearing hijab, so would have had some explaining to do as to why I let the photos end up online. Not only that but trying on clothes and looking and posing in the mirror allows yourself to be seduced by your own imagination fanning the flames of sin.
Fortunately, my husband wasn't even angry he just knew that the lesson itself would be enough. Had I been wearing clothing that constantly reminded me of my religion, In sha Allah, I would not have made such shameful decisions, he suggested.
He also pointed out that I had missed my prayers, couldn't breastfeed my own daughter because of the alcohol in my system therefore relying on formula and felt wrecked all day at work. Not to mention the poor example I had shown non Muslims I work with. After I explained, Sophie agreed to delete the photos with me in them which was really kind of her.
We are supposed to hide out sins in Islam because Allah SWT has hidden them for us. A concept which I struggle with to be honest, especially concerning child abuse issues but that's another thought for another day.
The reason I make this one public is because of wearing hijab and niqab. People say it is isolationist and you can't blend and integrate properly. My husband is right though, my behavior was shameful and isolating myself from temptation to 'have fun' in this way is no bad thing.
I was reminded that day, that if I had been wearing the clothing of my religion, I wouldn't have got myself into that situation and I wouldn't have chosen to behave so poorly. Wearing abaya, hijab and niqab is a constant reminder for a Muslimah of who you are and the faith you chose to follow. It provides a protection and a reminder as well as being a worship to Allah SWT.
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